I recently attended a networking event that left me feeling energized and optimistic. It wasn’t the usual tech-focused event I tend to go to, but instead a business-focused event hosted by BNI, a group that’s all about doing networking right.
What made this event stand out wasn’t just the structure or the people—it was the attitude of the group. They were genuinely interested in helping each other. And that’s the key to networking done right. It’s not about asking, “What can I get from this person?” It’s about starting with, “How can I help you?”
I go to a lot of meetups. Sometimes I’m there to find potential collaborations, other times to connect with end clients, and sometimes just to enjoy the learning experience. But one thing has become clear: the best networking happens when you focus on building real relationships, not just looking for quick wins.
This brings me to an important distinction I learned at the event—hard networking versus soft networking. Soft networking is what most of us are used to—casual conversations, maybe a follow-up, maybe not. Hard networking, however, is much more intentional. It’s about regular, structured interactions where trust builds over time. You focus on helping others first, knowing that over time, the benefits will come back to you.
A key takeaway from the BNI event is that effective networking often begins with giving. In the past, I’ve attended events where people were clearly just looking to sell or take something from me, without offering much in return. That’s not the right way to do it.
Networking done right means offering value to the group and building a foundation of trust. When you start with “How can I help you?” you open the door to real connections. It’s not just a strategy—it’s the right approach for long-term success.
If you’re in a group where everyone is willing to give as much as they receive, networking becomes a powerful experience. You stop feeling drained and start seeing real benefits. It all begins with the simple question: “How can I help you?”
